Jigsaws from Charity Shops - Sheesh!

Alright, so I know that many people will already have worked this out; but I only just learned that you're on to a real loser when you buy a second-hand jigsaw from a charity shop!

I was so excited - sad but true - when I found the 1000 piece picture by David of Napoleon Bonaparte's imperial coronation. It totally connected with the deep histo-geek in me.

Any cautionary feelings that I may have felt about the completeness of the set were skillfully nullified by the assurance of the sweet-old-lady volunteer who noted that it was "guaranteed complete". I think I may have made a vague mental presumption that the 1000 pieces had been hand-counted by a crack team of sweet-old-lady volunteers. However, I now realise with the benefit of hindsight that this was a grossly naive misconception on my part.

It’s not the 2 quid spent that I resent - that went to charity. No, it’s the three obsessive days that it took me and several others to realise that we were only two miserable pieces short of achieving our master piece! Arghhh!

They say that on his death bed, the emperor Augustus vainly cried out for the return of the imperial eagles that had been shamefully lost to Roman arms at the massacre of the Tuetenberg Forest. If that be true, I believe that on my death bed I may well cry out for those lost pieces of jigsaw that were so cruelly and fatefully denied to me.

On the other hand, I may just have to let the pain go and chalk this one down to experience ...

Further Tales from the Park

Sometimes, it really is the random minutia of everyday life that can arouse great interest.

I saw this surprising and hopeful note in the park this week and was thoroughly intrigued by it.

Beyond the immediate questions that come to mind, I think its the fact that strangers in the modern age are having such interactions - via notes on trees - that is so fascinating.

Bird Feed

Last Summer, Nanny Turner literally nailed two bits of wood together into a cross and hung feed nets from it.

The result was nothing short of a revolution! A bird-feed delivery system that came to be known as the 'Birdomatic' 6000.

The advanced trials of this innovative and exciting new system were astonishing!

Moustache Parade

Last New Year's night saw me making a drunken resolution to grow an outrageous and over-the-top moustache.

The Ancient Romans knew a thing or two about moustaches and had very firm cultural opinions on the wider issue of facial hair.

In early Roman times the sources reveal that beards were probably common, if not fashionable among Romans. However, towards the later Republic it became almost universal fashion – at least amongst the elite - to be close-cropped and well-shaven. Scipio Africanus in the third century BC is reputed to be amongst the first prominent Roman to have taken up the new clean shaven fashion. This new attitude endured throughout the great expansionist period of the late Republic and the Early Imperial periods.

At the heart of this trend, it is no exaggeration to say that the well-kept and above all clean-shaven view that Romans held of themselves, was an important facet of their collective cultural psyche: informing a self-definition that viewed the absence of facial hair as synonymous with sophistication and indeed higher civilisation. It was partially this custom that most visibly set Romans apart from the sea of more ‘barbarous’ and commonly bearded peoples that threatened the fringes of empire. Amongst material Roman evidence it is most conspicuous across several centuries that the enemies of Rome – especially among the tribal peoples of the European North - were depicted as bearded or moustached.

The Famous Hellenic statue of the ‘Dying Gaul’ sports a modest yet distinctive lip-brush .

Informed by the earlier Greek tradition, there was a general view that facial hair –excepting philosophers who had long been accepted as ‘beardy wierdes’ - was synonymous with the wild and barbarous tribes from the fringes of civilised empire.

A close view of this 3rd century Roman relief leaves us in little doubt how to spot the enemies of Rome.

Caesar’s famous Gallic advisory Vercingetorix – albeit depicted on a modern statue - sports some serious lip fluff that’s not to be messed with.

 

Roman attitudes to beards did at times fluctuate with fashion, but it was not reportedly until the advent of the emperor Hadrian (117 – 138 AD) that beards received a fundamental and long standing imperial endorsement.

Perhaps I will be the first emperor to go specifically for the handle bar moustache look! :-)

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USEFUL LINKS TO THE STRANGE BUT VERY MANLY WORLD OF BEARDS, MOUSTACHES & FACIAL HAIR

World Beard & Moustache Championships:
http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/

Moustaches Are Us:
http://moustachesrus.co.uk/default.aspx

The Handlebar Moustache Club:
http://www.handlebarclub.co.uk/index.php

For the Ancient Roman view on facial hair see: http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/secondary/SMIGRA*/Barba.html

The Bass Rock

[The Shimmering Bass Rock. East Lothian. Scotland]

For more info see:
http://www.north-berwick.co.uk/bassRock.asp

Image of an Emperor: Caligula

"He was very tall in stature, of a pale complexion, ill-shaped, with very slender neck and legs, sunken eyes and hollow temples, a broad and furrowed forehead, his hair thin, and the crown of his head bald. The other parts of his body were very hairy. On this account, it was reckoned a capital crime for any person to look down from above, as he was passing by, or so much as name a goat. His countenance, which was naturally stern and frightful, he purposely made more so, composing it in a mirror into the most horrible contortions".

[Suetonius, Caligula, 50]

Herdwick Sheep

Back in January I came across these special sheep in the Lake District. The local breed is pretty distinctive and they are known as 'Herdwicks'.

There was something about these guys that was so cool. Maybe not the brightest looking sheep, but certainly amongst the most endearing!

For details of the Herdwick see: http://www.herdwick-sheep.com/


Post Script [June 2010]

I take it all back! Who says that sheep are not intelligent?

Recent scientific recognition studies have proven that sheep have developed visual memories and indeed have the capacity to emotionally recognise and remember the specific faces of up to 50 of their woolly companions.

See: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/1641463.stm

Great uncle Pliny was obviously not aware of this fact when he attributed the ability of facial recognition purely within the capacity of men:

“The human features and countenance, although composed of but some ten parts or little more, are so fashioned that among so many thousands of men there are no two in existence who cannot be distinguished from one another.”

[Pliny, Natural Historia, Book VII.8]


Go Sheep!!!! I will never mock thee again ...