To Be An Emperor: Advice of Machiavelli

[Head of Augustus, Louvre Museum, Paris]

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"A prince therefore need not necessarily have all the good qualities I have mentioned, but he should certainly appear to have them. I would even go so far as to say that if he has these qualities and always behaves accordingly he will find them harmful; if he only appears to have them they will render him service. He should appear to be compassionate, faithful to his word, kind, guileless, and devout. And indeed he should be so. But his disposition should be such that, if he needs to be the opposite, he knows how. You must realise this; that a prince, and especially a new prince, cannot observe all those things which give men a reputation for virtue, because in order to maintain his state he is often forced to act in defiance of good faith, of charity, of kindness, of religion. And so he should have a flexible disposition, varying as fortune and circumstance dictate. ... he should not deviate from what is good, if that is possible, but he should know how to do evil if that is necessary."

[Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince, XVIII.5 ]

War Games & The Politics Of Seating

[British Soldiers filling politically embarrassing gaps in Olympic Seating - London 2012]

See: http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/jul/29/olympics-empty-seats-locog-army

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Yet not every regime in history has wanted its soldiers to enjoy the games:

"For at an exhibition of games, when he [Augustus] had given orders that a common soldier who was sitting in the fourteen rows be put out by an attendant, the report was spread by his detractors that he had had the man killed later and tortured as well; whereupon he all but lost his life in a furious mob of soldiers, owing his escape to the sudden appearance of the missing man safe and sound."*

[Suetonius, Life of Augustus, 14]

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*In the settlement following the Civil Wars, the Emperor Augustus sought to re-establish and regulate the traditional and rigid hierarchy of state.  The first 14 rows of all theatres, amphitheatres and circuses were thus reserved under law for Senators and Knights only.  Of course, we might also speculate that the new ruler might seek to quash all bonds of clientship between the army and the wider social elite. Better empty spaces, than soldiers mixing or being given 'corporate entertainment' from Senators and Knights!  

Augustus on Risk

"He [Augustus] was wont to say that:"

'a battle or a war ought never to be undertaken unless the hope of gain was greater than the fear of damage; for men who pursue small commodities with no small risk resemble those who fish with a golden hook, for the loss of which, if the line should break, no draught of fish whatsoever could make amends.'

 

[Suetonius, Augustus, 25]

Augustus on Friends

"He did not easily or quickly form friendships with any person, but maintained them with great constancy; not only honouring the virtue and merits of his friends as they deserved, but bearing likewise with their faults and vices provided that they did not overpower the good in them."

[Suetonius, Augustus, 66]

Jigsaws from Charity Shops - Sheesh!

Alright, so I know that many people will already have worked this out; but I only just learned that you're on to a real loser when you buy a second-hand jigsaw from a charity shop!

I was so excited - sad but true - when I found the 1000 piece picture by David of Napoleon Bonaparte's imperial coronation. It totally connected with the deep histo-geek in me.

Any cautionary feelings that I may have felt about the completeness of the set were skillfully nullified by the assurance of the sweet-old-lady volunteer who noted that it was "guaranteed complete". I think I may have made a vague mental presumption that the 1000 pieces had been hand-counted by a crack team of sweet-old-lady volunteers. However, I now realise with the benefit of hindsight that this was a grossly naive misconception on my part.

It’s not the 2 quid spent that I resent - that went to charity. No, it’s the three obsessive days that it took me and several others to realise that we were only two miserable pieces short of achieving our master piece! Arghhh!

They say that on his death bed, the emperor Augustus vainly cried out for the return of the imperial eagles that had been shamefully lost to Roman arms at the massacre of the Tuetenberg Forest. If that be true, I believe that on my death bed I may well cry out for those lost pieces of jigsaw that were so cruelly and fatefully denied to me.

On the other hand, I may just have to let the pain go and chalk this one down to experience ...

Image of An Emperor: Augustus

"In person he was well favoured and charming, and these qualities marked him at all stages of his life. Yet he was negligent in his dress, and so careless about the grooming of his hair, that he usually had it done in great haste, by several barbers at a time, such as might be available,it mattered not whom; and one clipped, while another shaved his beard, during which time he either read or wrote and attended not at all on ceremony. ... He also had very clear and shining eye, wherein (as he was willing to have men believe) there shone a kind of divine vigour; and he was much pleased when he looked steadfastly at people, if they dropped their lids, as if from the brightness of the sun. But in his old age he could not see very well from the left eye. His teeth were thin set, small and scaly, his hair somewhat curled, and of a light yellow colour. His eyebrows came together, his ears were small and his nose aquiline. His complexion was between brown and fair; and his stature was said to have been short ..."

[Suetonius, Augustus, 79]

Augustus and the Pax Romana

"He never made war upon any people without just and necessary cause; and so far was he from desire of enlarging the empire, or advancing his own military glory, that he compelled certain princes of the barbarians to take an oath in the Temple of Mars the Revenger, that they would faithfully continue in their allegiance and not violate the peace which they had implored"

[Suetonius, Augustus, 21]