The Emperor's New Clothes

Last month saw the dramatic launch of John Galliano's 2010 fashion collection in an abandoned swimming pool at Paris fashion week.*

One of the key themes of Galliano's new and dramatic collections was his highly stylised portrayal of the French Napoleonic period. Stunning interpretations of early Napoleonic chic, were characterised by finely tailed jackets, Bonapartine hats and sumptuous sashes. All sported by ghost-like, laurel wearing models; dramatically referencing the early image of the diminutive Emperor.

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The notorious Roman Emperor Caligula, also nurtured a distinctive flair for fashion.

On this point, Suetonius - that most wicked of imperial biographers - noted:

"His apparel not only did not conform to any national or civil fashion: it was not even peculiar to the male sex, or appropriate to mere mortals. He often went abroad clad in a short coat of stout cloth, richly embroidered in many colours, and studded with gems, in a tunic with long sleeves, and wearing bracelets. Sometimes he was seen all in silks and habited like a woman; at other times in the crepidae or buskins; sometimes in the sort of shoes worn by the light armed soldiers, or in the sock used by women and commonly with a golden beard fixed to his chin, holding in his hand a thunderbolt, a trident or a caduceus, marks of distinction belonging to the gods only. Sometime he even appeared in the costume of Venus. He constantly wore the triumphal ornaments, even before his expedition, and sometimes the breastplate of Alexander the Great, taken out of his coffin"

[Suetonius, Life of Caligula, 52]

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I think we can rest assured that no one would have laughed at Caligula's garb - at least not to his face.

*(Must suppress obvious quotes from the spoof movie, Zoolander)

An Emperor in the making?

Could there ever have been any doubt that I was a Roman Emperor?

Given that as an adult I have been fatefully unsure of my career path in life, it was reassuring to recently rediscover the photo below. It reminded me that even from a young age (8), I knew where my calling lay.

[That's me on the right - the good looking one.]

Seeing me and my old best mate - Robbie Bauld - really did make me smile. We were so interested in our Junior-School project on the Romans, that we were allowed to dress up as Roman soldiers on the last day of term. We were so proud!

Of course, the histories tell us that I am not the first Emperor to have dressed up as a Roman soldier in childhood:

"... Gaius, born in the camp and brought up with the regular troops as his comrades. In their army fashion they had nicknamed him 'little boots' (Caligula), because as a popular gesture he was often dressed in miniature army boots. "

[Tacitus, Annals. I.41. See also: I.69]

"He got his surname Caligula, derived from Caliga, a kind of boot, by reason of a merry word passed around the camp because he was brought up there in the dress of a common soldier." [Suetonius, Caligula, 9]

Indeed, rather worryingly for me, Gaius Caligula did not go on to be one of Rome's best loved emperors [slight understatement] and has indeed been recorded as one of history's most evil psychopaths.

It wasn't just the dodgy film he made (the infamous one starring the young Dame Helen Mirren). See: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080491/

Anyway, I'd like to say - just for the record - that the comparison between Caligula and me ends there at the dressing up part. Even when work gets me stressed sometimes, I have never yet had men torn limb from limb just for my pleasure.

"Would God that the Roman People had but one neck!"

[Suetonius, Caligula, 30]

Oh yes, I've fantasised, but modern employment law just does not allow for that kind of thing.

Image of an Emperor: Caligula

"He was very tall in stature, of a pale complexion, ill-shaped, with very slender neck and legs, sunken eyes and hollow temples, a broad and furrowed forehead, his hair thin, and the crown of his head bald. The other parts of his body were very hairy. On this account, it was reckoned a capital crime for any person to look down from above, as he was passing by, or so much as name a goat. His countenance, which was naturally stern and frightful, he purposely made more so, composing it in a mirror into the most horrible contortions".

[Suetonius, Caligula, 50]